It happened again, you guys. This time, Lisa Edelstein visited me in my dream. We were at a White Lotus type of place, like a ship. I shouldn’t have watched Titanic over the weekend. It’s one of those movies that hasn’t aged so well, but it’s embedded in the psyche, obviously. I mean, Kate Winslet’s lipstick alone. Anyway, in the dream, I was on a ship, but it wasn’t moving.
I’d been trying to find “my group” but the elevators kept taking me to the wrong floors. So I retreated to a posh celebrity cocaine couch and parked my butt down. Suddenly, this face popped up in front of me.
“Hey.”
OMG, it was Lisa! She was so glamorous and amazing. “HI!!!! I love you I love you I love you!”
“I have a dare for you,” she said. I noticed her frilly blue chiffon dress. What a talented actor who’s been in just about everything.
“I’ll do a dare for you, Lisa Edelstein!”
“How about you give me your phone for the day. Just drop it here.” She put out her bag, and I dropped it in. Didn’t even think about it. Put my lifeline in Lisa Edelstein’s purse! Then she vanished…with my phone.
This is sort of what happened in The West Wing when Rob Lowe and Lisa Edelstein mistakenly had each other’s pager/phone.
In the dream, I had an iWatch (is that what it’s called?) but it was an older one. Messages came in, but I couldn’t send them out. I wandered around the unmoving Titanic and pushed buttons on my watch. Nothing happened. My heart palpitated as I ran up and down steps, trying to find Lisa or my group.
Somehow, I wound up a cargo vessel headed to South Africa (too much Below Deck). Where did my clothes go? I had on one of those Real Housewives translucent beach coverups over some kind of Skims. How did I get this way? I kept looking for clothes. There was nothing I could do except look out at the view. Actually kind of nice.
Moral of the story: Give your phone to Lisa.
But I still want it back…
Patience Bloom 