Goodbye to 2016, the Year of No Fear

My year started with a celebration: 25 years of extra life. I didn’t say anything except quiet wishes to my friend (sister) who was with me one horrible night in early January. We are both thriving now, but it took a while, at least for me.

Then, I had a long flight for work, one I’d been sweating. Like Guinness, I don’t travel well and lose my bubbles. But when your boss shows confidence in you by sending you places, you say yes. Meeting with writers is fun for me. They feed you cheesecake and regale you with stories. All I have to do is get on the damn plane.


We went to my thirtieth high school reunion in May, which was nice, low key, and I felt very fat. I thought that red dress would be roomier, but it wasn’t. More on my inexplicable weight gain from eating cookies below. %*$&%*! As you can see in the pic below, I’m half in love with my friend Di, who is mentioned in my book. She is a gifted artist and so full of the same warmth, moxie, and wisdom. Plus, she is rocking some serious braids. I wish she lived next door.


I threw a surprise party for my darling husband, Sam. He had no idea what was coming and it blew him away. Maybe my favorite moment of the year, watching him walk in and see us. This whole marriage thing is pretty cool.img_1968

Sam–a French prof–decided it would be great to take students to Paris. Sure, you do that. Okay, so I managed to get on that plane again (thank you, Delta, for the amazing service). I went to France because when your husband turns 50 in Paris, you get on the damn plane to meet him there. We had an amazing time. The butter!!!


I flew three more times after that. My fear of travel is now gone. It happened gradually until one travel day, as I strapped myself in the seat, I thought, “Oh this again.” No big deal. I ditched the tranquilizers and now just listen to music and knit. I’ll go anywhere. Except on a boat. Or a prop plane. Hate those.


My childhood friend got hitched and I love her and her family. I rediscovered that warm fuzzy of seeing someone again and remembering deep bonds and memories. Here are some flowers from her big day.fullsizerender-003

This year, I rediscovered food. It’s weird, but food tastes good again after 25 years of not caring (and being thin). What happened? Were my tastebuds released from jail? Long story too long, I gained 15 pounds. I’m so startled not to fit in most of my clothes that I’ve upped my running. Love handles on me are not okay!


Part III. August. As you get older, lifting weights becomes more important. Plus, I couldn’t open a jar of pickles, so I signed up with a trainer. On good days and bad days, M kicks my butt and I always feel better afterwards. (I’m not James Corden, btw)mgid-ao-image-mtv-com-207885It all seemed to be going okay, until…do I have to say it?


On November 9, the fear came rushing back. The embodiment of my nightmares will be in office. How did that happen? I feel sick just seeing his face or hearing him talk–and I’m so so so angry. You can’t tell this broad to move on or accept the outcome. It runs too deep for many of us. I like that people think differently but this election was different–and not in a way that celebrates our differences.

It would be easy to stay indoors and sleep through the next four years. I’ve thought about it. What a waste, though. We can be a community of survivors, right? I will start by bidding au revoir to 2016. You’ve put us through a lot and I’m grateful for the lessons. Maybe not grateful in a gratitude way, but I get why things happened and how I can learn from them. But did you have to kill Prince, George Michael, Carrie Fisher, and David Bowie?

Sam and I are ending the year with a nasty bug that has left us bed-ridden and watching The Sopranos. We will recover from all upsets, sinus, stomach or the caustic Orange kind, and 2017 will be about badassery and La Resistance. Stay tuned.


6 thoughts on “Goodbye to 2016, the Year of No Fear”

  1. If it makes you feel any better, I gained 12 lbs this year (on top of the extra 5 I’d already been carting around thanks to menopause). I at least have the excuse of hurting my knee really badly and not being able to exercise since April 1st–yes, I see the irony of that date–but since I *still* can’t exercise, all that weight isn’t going anywhere any time soon. I love food and have for years, but I’m going to have to start being more careful about an already good diet in 2017. Portion control is my friend. Also, I might have to drink less wine. But Certain People are going to make that a challenge.

    Yay for survival. Boo for the Orange guy. I too am deeply afraid, both of what he will do (“If we have nukes, why can’t we use them?”) and of the state of our country. But I am trying to stay positive, if for no other reason than that the alternative is less helpful and completely unpleasant. Viva la revolution!

    1. You are so right, regarding staying positive and portion control. I sort of think that having fun and being happy are just fine and a little pudge won’t hurt anyone. I can totally understand the need to drink more wine. Also, I recommend not watching news. What a blessing to be away from the wah-wah-wah drone of TV. Vive la revolution et le wine! Happy New Year to you, Deborah!

  2. The hardest part for me has been the isolation. Having a rainbow wreath on your door, a bedazzled safety pin on your coat, and a job at the local synagogue are not, shall we say, the norm in Nebraska. If the lesson learned is that society cannot be pushed too quickly into change, then my hope is that society cannot move backwards with great speed either.

    I have teenagers and I see in them a tolerance that was missing from my peers at that age. They give me hope.

    As for the weight, spend some time in the Midwest. You’ll feel like a goddess, and the filet mignon is divine.

    1. Sherri, You are a trooper! Thanks for the reminder that nothing happens too quickly. I have to believe that. And I love Nebraska! The last time I was there, I do believe I ate very large portions of my favorite things and everyone was so nice. Definitely a cozy and welcoming part of the country–at least for me! Happy New Year to you and your family!

  3. 2016 was a better year for me than 2015, which will always be remembered as the year of losses. I too am worried about the next 4 years, but hope refuses to die in me. I lost the extra 15 pounds (finally!) but have gained half of it back via December cruise and holidays. I’m ending the year sick also (had to cancel our dinner reservations for tonight,) but am still hopeful for 2017.

    1. Karen, I remember what a stinker 2015 was for you, the kind that really knocks a person down. I’m glad you had a much better year and hope you kick your bug ASAP–and continue that upward trend in 2017. You’ve definitely inspired me to move more! As for gaining back pounds, I say cruises and holidays don’t count. 🙂 Happy New Year to you and your family (human and doggie).

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